Monthly Archives: January 2015

PREP FOR JANUARY 30TH 2015

And then Bill Gates drank it..
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/01/29/you-can-earn-13000-a-year-selling-your-poop/?tid=sm_fb

An hour and a half of Nutty Professor jokes, great.
http://uproxx.com/tv/2015/01/eddie-murphy-is-returning-to-snl-for-the-first-time-since-1984/

A great conversation starter.
https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/parents-under-investigation-for-neglect-after-108180228512.html

Flawless logic.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/01/29/telecom-subscribers-prices-canada_n_6573490.html

Do not try this with your wife.
http://www.unilad.co.uk/articles/bloke-lost-21-stone-because-his-mate-call-him-fat-every-single-day/

Turns out It was just Don Cherry discovering tyedye for the first time.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/01/29/nashville-predators-hockey-broadcast-porn_n_6576478.html?1422593090&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067
HEADLINE OF THE DAY!
http://lifewise.canoe.ca/Living/2015/01/29/22207226.html

Idea:

I posted this photo of my dad being much cooler than I could ever be.

Asked the question, what’s the coolest thing your dad has ever done?

Went over really well!

10155250_942376346138_3965892767932909061_n

PREP FOR JANUARY 29TH 2015

Super news!
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/crtc-opens-door-for-us-super-bowl-ads-to-air-on-canadian-tv/article22696212/

It’s too bad chewing a lot doesn’t count as chin cardio.
http://www.bbc.com/news/health-30997396

Super Mario news!
http://www.geeksandbeats.com/2015/01/mario-has-been-hiding-a-super-awesome-cheat-for-nearly-thirty-years/

Luckiest unlucky guy, or other way around?

http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/is-7-seconds-enough-to-block-man-s-27-million-lotto-win-1.2210834#ixzz3QE3Ax7xg

A snake that eats dinosaurs. And you thought our snakes our bad.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/dinosaur-eating-snake-among-worlds-oldest-species-ever-discovered-1485405

Was his first name Chris?
http://consumerist.com/2015/01/28/comcast-changes-customers-first-name-to-ahole-is-really-sorry/

Take that books!
http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/research-shows-intelligent-people-stay-up-late-do-more-drugs-and-have-more-sex/
Just die already.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/target-s-8-000-cheque-for-student-conference-bounces-1.2936028?cmp=rss

This is important.
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/flight-conchords-taking-flight-again-768170?utm_source=facebook

PREP FOR JANUARY 28TH 2015

The most important Superbowl ad ever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTJT3fVv1vU&feature=youtu.be

It’s not personal, it’s scientific!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11281213/Men-need-nights-out-with-the-lads-scientists-say.html

Why do we even own cats and dogs?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/26/rabbit-delivers-beer-video_n_6549546.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Justin Trudeau for Prime Minister!
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/01/27/middle-class-canada-120k_n_6552700.html

HMV still exists/People buy pizza cutters?!
http://www.aux.tv/2015/01/hmv-has-stayed-afloat-by-not-selling-music/

Scientist unboil an egg using urine and this can help cure cancer, seriously!
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2015/jan/27/scientists-found-way-to-unboil-egg-proteins-cancer-research

New Coke 2.0
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/01/27/coca-cola-canadian-recipe_n_6557628.html

 Reverse coffee! All of us could have thought of this, but we didn’t 🙁
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/01/26/counting-sheep-coffee_n_6550056.html?utm_hp_ref=canada-british-columbia&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

God Bless Quebec.
http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/01/27/listen-well-have-public-skating-quebec-city-about-to-debut-its-nhl-ready-arena-just-one-little-problem/

The Onion does it again! Wait..
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/01/27/bob-dylan-new-album-seniors-free_n_6550452.html?utm_hp_ref=canada-music

Countdown to Spring.
http://days.to/spring/2015

Countdown to Starwars.
http://howmanydaysuntilstarwars.com/

PREP FOR JANUARY 27TH 2015

Why a scorpion?
http://www.cp24.com/lifestyle/for-a-donation-san-francisco-zoo-will-send-your-ex-a-stuffed-scorpion-for-valentine-s-day-1.2205326?sc_ref=facebook

 

Now we can’t even have Luge tracks?!
http://www.cbc.ca/m/news/canada/saskatoon/saskatoon-dad-blair-mcdaid-builds-daughter-backyard-luge-track-1.2927997

 

#TBT House Hippo’s are REAL!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96xC5JIkIpQ&feature=youtu.be

 

But PTSD isn’t a problem..

http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/mountie-who-witnessed-bus-beheading-dies-by-suicide-1.1918550

 

There’s got to be a #TBT song coming soon. Rebecca Black?

http://www.vocativ.com/culture/music/days-of-the-week-songs/

 

Good thing there wasn’t Intagram in the 70’s.

http://www.cbc.ca/newsblogs/yourcommunity/2015/01/instagram-takes-heat-for-censoring-photo-of-models-with-pubic-hair.html

 

NFLD, the friendliest place on earth!

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/rodney-constantine-keeps-facebook-promise-and-turns-himself-in-to-police-1.2932060

The war on leggings.

http://smag31.com/stopped-wearing-leggings/

 

Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow.
http://www.popsci.com/it-ok-eat-snow

Make it Soprano’s themed, and I’m in!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/23/tesla-airbnb-sleep-in-trunk-phoenix_n_6532546.html?ir=Weird+News&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000022

 

Tiny flu vaccination drones, so cute!

http://www.foxnews.com/science/2015/01/26/fda-could-set-millions-genetically-modified-mosquitos-loose-in-florida-keys/

 

A beaver blocking traffic? Also the name of a sex move in PEI!

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/01/26/beaver-traffic-west-vancouver_n_6548386.html?utm_hp_ref=canada-british-columbia

 

Well, looks like I’m moving to Edmonton.
http://www.edmontonjournal.com/Cineplex+launch+arcade+live+entertainment+complex+Edmonton/10761448/story.html

 

EXCLUSIVE: The New Sam Smith is really trippy.
http://youtu.be/h0JvF9vpqx8

Prep for January 26th 2015

There’s an app that uses even less data, it’s called REAL LIFE!
http://www.ctvnews.ca/sci-tech/facebook-launches-facebook-lite-new-app-that-uses-less-data-1.2205734

Look up. Look waaaaaaay up.

http://www.ctvnews.ca/sci-tech/ready-those-telescopes-mountain-sized-asteroid-to-pass-by-earth-1.2204859

A real life nightmare. 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/dad-seriously-ill-twins-told-5043510

Is it really a cheers without a clink? 

http://www.msn.com/en-ca/money/topstories/carlsberg-developing-wood-fibre-beer-bottle-that-won%E2%80%99t-%E2%80%9Cclink%E2%80%9D/ar-AA8vxPn
I always thought this was the case, and why I think drinking and driving ads aren’t targeting the real problem.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/johann-hari/the-real-cause-of-addicti_b_6506936.html?ir=Canada+Living

Bonus points if you can throw something in their mouth.

http://mashable.com/2015/01/22/faux-surprise-face/
Believe in your dumb ideas.
http://www.wpxnews.com/breaking/spiteful-glitter-web-page-sells-for-85k-days-right-after-launching-h2034.html
How is the cat going to sit on an invisible TV?

http://www.vox.com/2015/1/24/7879257/Microsoft-hololens-televisions-obsolete

What the Fig!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/14/fig-newtons-name-change_n_6472072.html?ir=Canada+Living

Just ban Winter already:

http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/01/23/quebec-father-refuses-to-take-down-snow-fort-in-front-yard-after-city-determines-its-a-safety-hazard/

A dead mouse in a Timmies? Where’s that snake when you need it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/01/23/deadmau5-tim-hortons-kitchen_n_6534604.html?ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067

And then Bill Gates drank it..

http://www.cbc.ca/asithappens/2015/01/22/photos-canadian-photographer-caught-in-giant-whale-poo-storm/

Name him Doggy Bowie, He’ll be adopted in minutes!

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/01/26/deaf-dog-different-coloured-eyes_n_6545522.html?utm_hp_ref=canada&ir=Canada

Getting millions of dollars for nothing is harder than losing a leg?

http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/2015/01/26/heather-mills-losing-a-leg-easier-than-divorcing-paul-mccartney

“Time for you to go out to the places you will be from” God damnit.

http://groundedparents.com/2015/01/13/nineties-song-closing-time-isnt-about-the-end-of-a-night-out/#.VLXGAIM-Lro.facebook

Stupid Breaks I Did To Inspire You:

PANCAKES:

Pancakes are a giant scam.

There’s never a clean exit.

You either have a little leftover mix or some leftover maple syrup.

So then you have to go buy more just to make that one last pancake meal.

Which just starts the cycle again!

And even in perfect world where you run out of both at the same time, then you miss having cake for breakfast!!

WHERE DOES IT END?!

I’m Super Awkward:

Just heard someone I don’t know talking about me in the gym locker room.

So I pretended I couldn’t hear them, while still trying to listen to what they were saying.

Turns out they were talking to me.

God I’m awkward.

Everyone’s Got and Answer!

**THE BORING-EST WHAT IF GAME EVER**

Today my room-mate told me that if he won the lottery, the first thing he’d do is buy new windows for our house!! WOOOO!!

I thought about it though, the first thing I’d probably buy If I won a lot of money, is shoes without holes in the bottom.

What would your first non-exciting purchase be after becoming a millionaire?

ANNOUNCEMENT:

After 7+ years of trying (and last week), I will no longer identify as someone who tries to date. i.e. I’m un-datable.

With that, I feel the need to publicly state the following:

I will no longer wear deodorant.

I don’t care about your relationship problems/happiness/The Notebook.

I’m growing a giant beard and starting a prog-rock band.

I’m looking forward to acquiring several cats that will appreciate my company.

Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.

Any questions?

12 Things To Stop Saying To People In Radio

1. You’re so lucky, you get to just talk for a living.

So do people who work at call centres, drive thru’s, offices.

Wait. Who doesn’t talk for a living?

2. I could’ve totally done my own radio show.

I could have been alright, I could have been here tonight, I could have been sweet as wine, I could have been a lady.

3. How much do you make?
Not enough for the hours I put in, way too much considering I spend most of the time air-drumming and dancing like an idiot.

4. Can I get free tickets to (insert show here)?
YES YOU CAN!! Listen for the cue to call, then be caller 9 at 902-365-ROCK!

5. So are you trying to be like Howard Stern or something?

Am I trying to be one of the most recognized and praised names in radio? Yes, yes I am!

6. I have a great idea for your show…

TELL ME!!! I can use as much help as I can get: doug@893krock.com

7. What’s your backup plan?

TV.

8. Why aren’t you doing TV?

LOOK AT MY FACE!

9. Omg I’m SO SORRY!!! I NEVER even listen to the radio!

I never listen to Taylor Swift, she seems to be doing ok.

10. Radio is a dying industry.
You’re a dying industry.

11. Wanna host (insert here) for free? It’s only a few hours.

YES!! No one invites me anywhere. You know I’m not the morning show right? If you can convince my boss to let me take an evening off, I’m there!!

12. Can you mention my business on the air?!

Is your business a pizza place? Will you give me pizza? Is pizzayola really a crime?

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