Monthly Archives: January 2017

PREP FOR FEBRUARY 1ST 2017

#FredricTOWN
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/new-brunswick-jeopardy-1.3959852?cmp=rss
So we’re paying Goolge to show us Canadian movies we don’t want to see?
http://business.financialpost.com/fp-tech-desk/google-canada-and-canada-media-fund-to-make-youtube-channel-promoting-homegrown-content
Meanwhile in Netflix.
http://mashable.com/2017/01/30/netflix-mind-control/
Setting the bar Lowe.
http://exclaim.ca/film/article/rob_lowe_is_looking_for_a_personal_assistant_with_peculiar_qualifications
**SPOILER ALERT.**
http://news.nationalpost.com/arts/movies/james-cameron-defends-titanic-ending-stubbornly-insists-there-was-no-space-for-jack-on-the-door
When spells don’t work..
http://news.nationalpost.com/arts/books/j-k-rowling-uses-bible-verse-accuse-mike-pence-hypocrisy-travel-ban
Looks like me in the morning before coffee..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/bag-like-creature-human-ancestor-1.3955434
A conversation starter.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health/four-things-to-know-about-sleep-and-your-health-sleepless/article33764746/
Make Canada Warm Again.
http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/politics/should-california-oregon-and-washington-join-canada-calexit-talk-envelops-west-coast/
Meanwhile in Mississippi
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sagging-pants-bill-mississippi_us_588aed2ce4b0230ce61b2e9c
This should have been a Jeopardy question..
https://www.facebook.com/CBCNB/videos/10154159780046937/
Kids these days..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/offnet-app-developer-cellphones-wi-fi-data-fall-river-teens-text-messages-1.3951894
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PREP FOR JANUARY 31ST 2017

Meanwhile in Alberta..
https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/the-messed-up-story-behind-albertas-sad-tradition-of-throwing-loonies-at-strippers?utm_source=vicefbca&utm_campaign=Canada
A conversation starter.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com//report-on-business/careers/management/im-44-and-havent-found-my-calling-do-i-keep-searching/article33803186/?click=sf_globefb
It’s called fashion, look it up.
http://mashable.com/2017/01/30/snake-stuck-in-womans-ear/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link#.gvywFcKtSqK
A conversation starter.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3213958/new-rule-could-take-1-in-3-chest-pain-patients-out-of-hospital-beds/?sf53441766=1
BREAKING: Cher has been named Immigration Minister by Trump.
http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/watch-cher-in-clueless-tackle-refugee-debate-w463957
Getting dusty in here..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/white-rock-alzheimers-before-shes-gone-1.3956981
Mine would be my girlfriend smothering me with a pillow while I snore.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ridiculously-cute-relationship-comics_us_588a49cfe4b061cf898d802e
Can’t we all just get enough sleep?
https://www.fatherly.com/mens-health/science-says-women-need-20-more-minutes-of-sleep-than-men/
A conversation starter.
https://www.thestar.com/opinion/commentary/2017/01/30/time-to-boycott-vacations-to-the-us.html
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PREP FOR JANUARY 30TH 2017

Maybe everyone knowing all our personal information isn’t that bad.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3208726/abducted-north-carolina-woman-saved-after-dispatcher-tracks-location-through-cell-phone-texts/
Meanwhile in MTL..
http://www.macleans.ca/news/montreals-heated-sidewalk-plan-moves-ahead/
It’s a complicated puzzle in there. We don’t know how to put it together.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/food-and-wine/food-trends/gaining-clarity-over-male-refrigerator-blindness/article33715540/
Umm.. what?
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/stunning-russian-model-unveils-ingenious-9705444
Meanwhile in Edmonton.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3211292/alberta-drivers-rant-over-ticket-for-a-cracked-licence-ticket-goes-viral/
And you thought your neighbours were shitty.
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/n-b-couple-used-giant-manure-heap-to-harass-neighbours-judge-rules
Meanwhile in Newfoundland..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/potholes-destroying-tires-pitts-gushue-repairs-1.3955143
Bob Marley and Me.
http://www.aux.tv/2017/01/very-important-study-says-dogs-like-reggae/
What if you actually wanted fries extra crispy?
http://www.seacoastonline.com/news/20170126/fries-extra-crispy-code-for-marijuana-at-epping-burger-king
A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/textile-recycling-otter-lake-landfill-halifax-value-village-solid-waste-garbage-1.3941059
I use to kick myself for not collecting Air Miles years ago..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/air-miles-devalue-points-rewards-1.3955506
Awww…
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/john-tortorella-misses-nhl-all-star-game-for-gravely-ill-dog-220345319.html
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PREP FOR JANUARY 27th 2017

A conversation starter.
http://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/we-re-so-close-california-actor-31-takes-in-ailing-89-year-old-bestie-1.3257916
Admit it, you haven’t thought of them since the 90s.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/grafton-tip-top-retail-1.3953307
A conversation starter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/01/25/catcalling-study_n_14388350.html
How to become bacon..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/human-pig-embryos-growing-organs-transplants-1.3953451
A conversation starter.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3207835/sex-is-painful-for-1-in-10-women-study/
Center of the universe..
http://news.nationalpost.com/life/food-drink/a-toronto-food-festival-is-serving-cocktails-and-dishes-made-entirely-out-of-leftovers-and-scraps
David Suzuki for Prime Minister!
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/david-suzuki/shorter-work-week_b_14372442.html
Meanwhile in Illinois..
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/01/25/chromosome-twins_n_14360634.html
A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/virtual-reality-seniors-1.3950196
That’ll show em!
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/insane-clown-posse-isorganising-a-juggalo-march-on-washington-a7547101.html
Meanwhile in the United States..
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/world/a-step-by-step-guide-to-a-meme-about-richard-spencer-and-punching-a-nazi-in-the-face
Do you have a icky or a ewwy?
http://globalnews.ca/news/3205025/this-is-the-one-part-of-your-body-with-the-most-bacteria-buildup-according-to-experts/
Meanwhile in Ontario..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3205025/this-is-the-one-part-of-your-body-with-the-most-bacteria-buildup-according-to-experts/
Facebook Live da Police.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/01/25/photographing-police-canada-rights_n_14396798.html
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PREP FOR JANUARY 26TH 2017

A conversation starter.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3204489/hacker-who-stole-nude-celebrity-photos-sentenced-to-9-months/
A thought that was called tequila?
http://news.nationalpost.com/health/mental-viagra-hormone-that-fuels-lust-could-treat-psychological-issues-in-the-bedroom-scientists-say
Makes sense, since we’re the one killing them.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3192003/a-first-in-canada-cremated-remains-can-be-turned-into-a-living-ocean-reef/
Save money and time, the environment, get healthier and keep people away!
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2017/jan/23/throw-in-towel-stop-showering-helpful-microbes-skin
Not nearly as good as the jokes she says on tv these day. #Alternativehumour
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/watch-kellyanne-conways-awkward-1998-stand-up-routine-w462839
A conversation starter.
https://www.thestar.com/life/food_wine/2017/01/24/how-my-paleo-diet-made-me-sicker-than-ever.html
Meanwhile in Calgary.
http://www.metronews.ca/news/calgary/2017/01/25/calgary-zoo-cancels-illuminasia-failing-to-realize-a-profit.html
Kids these days..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/school-bus-high-school-games-activities-student-board-1.3950041
Found him!
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/01/23/rebel-womens-march-edmonton_n_14337912.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
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PREP FOR JANUARY 25TH 2017

East Coast Hospitality.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/stolen-car-pizza-delivery-st-johns-springdale-lotto-ticket-1.3949503
A conversation starter.
http://www.edmontonsun.com/2017/01/24/man-70-robbed-bank-to-get-away-from-wife
Theft underpants $5000, no big deal.
http://nypost.com/2017/01/24/man-steals-1700-fender-guitar-by-stuffing-it-in-his-pants/
It’s the thought that counts?
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/01/19/salt-lamp-benefits_n_14267954.html
Not as scary as the 50 Shades of Grey prank.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ring-prank-samara-tv_us_5886e27ae4b070d8cad51f7b
Now all we need is a Panama scandal to get Van Halen back on the map. #1984
http://globalnews.ca/news/3203016/george-orwell-classic-1984-gets-sales-boost-after-trump-advisor-coins-alternative-facts/
Meanwhile in Nova Scotia.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3202308/tiny-nova-scotia-villages-womens-march-chams-the-internet/
In his defence, jail is probably easier than small talk while buying a dildo.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/dildo-bandit-stjohns-sex-shop-1.3948716
Hey Girl.. Do you want me to balance your checkbook for you?
http://exclaim.ca/film/article/ryan_goslings_wax_figure_is_here_to_haunt_your_nightmares
Pink Floyd and Phish made an album together!?!
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-monday-edition-1.3948201/how-these-fish-got-stuck-in-a-wall-of-ice-1.3948225
This is how they take over!
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/sex-robots-fully-functional-genitalia-9161419?service=responsive
I’m sure the kids will love it..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3203071/grinding-nemo-billboard-meant-to-turn-heads/?sf52568716=1
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PREP FOR JANUARY 24TH 2017

Cause that’s why there’s a problem now, lack of warning labels.  
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/opioid-warning-stickers-1.3947878
So much for breakfast being the most important meal of the day..
http://news.nationalpost.com/health/dark-toast-and-roast-potatoes-linked-to-increased-risk-of-cancer-british-agency-warns-in-new-campaign
Hey look! PETA actually doing something most people can get behind.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3199162/peta-plans-on-staging-protests-at-a-dogs-purpose-screenings/
Meanwhile on the Internet.
http://deadstate.org/alternativefacts-kellyanne-conways-orwellian-term-gets-the-twitter-mockery-it-deserves/
No number is going to stop me from eating an entire pizza to myself.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/calorie-count-menus-1.3945275
Sure, kick us while we’re down/bald.
http://news.nationalpost.com/health/the-balder-the-man-the-more-likely-he-will-get-prostate-cancer-study
The Reachforthebooze pose.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/11/08/yoga-stress-relief_n_12848306.html
A conversation starter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/debra-macleod/sexless-marriages-tips_b_14228120.html
Meanwhile in Australia.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3198876/johann-ofner-brisbane-actor-shot-killed-music-video/
Meanwhile, every PD scrambles to try and find a way to hack competition..
http://ajournalofmusicalthings.com/radio-station-hacked-plays-fck-donald-trump-inauguration-day/
Opps, I messed up your hair.. Who cares! Pass me another cold one..
http://www.ctvnews.ca/business/beer-at-the-barbershop-relaxed-b-c-liquor-laws-come-into-effect-monday-1.3252494
Hey, want a free box of cookies? Where do I sign?!
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/sdi-marketing-staff-tricked-customers-to-sign-for-credit-cards-at-loblaws-stores-1.3943180
When life gives you lemon news..
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health/should-you-start-your-day-with-lemon-water-not-for-the-reasons-youve-heard/article33688405/
And who’s going to pay for this? I can barely afford to drive to work..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/nasa-hawaii-mars-1.3942646
Trump WILL stop those Memes..
http://ajournalofmusicalthings.com/first-day-trump-started-kill-net-neutrality-maybe/
A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/medically-assisted-death-could-save-millions-1.3947481
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PREP FOR JANUARY 23RD 2017

WHY?
http://www.aux.tv/2017/01/the-property-bros-are-also-country-singers/
A conversation starter.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/how-should-i-handle-tipping-during-my-vacation/article33687474/
Goes great with Rye too..
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/03/04/ginger-health-benefits_n_9378250.html
A conversation starter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/11/14/seasonal-affective-disorder_n_12965660.html
How hard is it to finish an apple in one sitting?
http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/gmo-apple-canada-1.3943058
That’ll show him?!
http://atlantic.ctvnews.ca/family-of-irked-boy-at-n-b-town-hall-to-name-baby-after-trudeau-1.3252106
Worth it to show everyone else how badass your keychain is.
http://www.wtsp.com/news/house-key-shaped-like-gun-nearly-keeps-family-from-going-on-vacation/389086529
Kids these days..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/coffee-grounds-firewood-1.3943029
Blessing in disguise.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/french-people-translate-donald-trump-us-president-language-speech-a7539461.html
A conversation starter.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/food-and-wine/food-trends/bringing-your-own-cake-to-a-restaurant-is-almost-always-in-bad-taste/article33647935/
Meanwhile in New York..
http://people.com/human-interest/this-video-of-a-farmer-dancing-to-sia-is-the-best-thing-youll-see-all-day/
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PREP FOR JANUARY 20TH 2017

Meanwhile in Ontario..
http://ajournalofmusicalthings.com/heres-rap-ridiculous-hydro-bills-pay-ontario/
I do this in meetings.
http://www.scarymommy.com/mom-escapes-nursery-video-monitor-footage/?utm_source=FB
Just make another comedy, problem solved.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3189706/jamaican-bobsled-team-needs-coach-to-help-get-them-to-2018-winter-olympics/
They want to look like the leader of the free world?
http://globalnews.ca/news/3192162/heres-the-no-1-reason-why-1-35m-canadians-are-still-using-tanning-beds/
And to think we just threw it out before. So many not wasted years.
http://news.nationalpost.com/life/food-drink/how-a-new-kitchen-gadget-will-help-you-get-boozey-with-all-your-leftover-fruit
Makes more sense than math.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3191769/south-africa-to-include-driving-lessons-in-high-school-curriculum/
Does Trump listen to techno?
http://ajournalofmusicalthings.com/just-time-inauguration-day-moby-back-new-video-hes-pissed/
A conversation starter.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3191702/here-are-the-most-annoying-types-of-airline-passengers/
Meanwhile in Hamilton.
https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2017/01/18/hamilton-woman-who-faked-cancer-gets-2-years-for-fraud.html
Finally, an Easter egg hunt for adults!!
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/01/18/gwyneth-paltrow-vagina-eggs_n_14244690.html
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PREP FOR JANUARY 20TH 2017

I just need to know one thing, how to avoid it.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health/five-things-to-know-about-norovirus-the-winter-vomiting-disease/article33655874/
It’s so hard to find the time for things like this..
https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2017/01/17/saskatoon-man-finally-cashes-in-on-5m-lottery-win-from-last-summer.html
Perhaps not have hair cover half your face? See the road..
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/01/18/jaden-smith-drivers-test_n_14245726.html
His performance stinks.
http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/sir-patrick-stewart-scoops-up-poop-emoji-role-in-emoji-movie-w461691
What could possibly go wrong?
https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2017/01/18/got-a-question-about-the-law-theres-a-site-for-that–.html
*Joke about Harambe*
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/technology/science/primates-face-mass-extinction-by-mid-century-scientistswarn/article33654822/
But please do keep recycling.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3188392/climate-change-could-mean-nicer-milder-weather-in-canada-study/
A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/depression-suicidal-thoughts-1.3940621
We celebrate Valentine’s day too!
http://www.refinery29.com/2017/01/136541/broquets-beef-jerky-bouqets-men
Cause stabbing them with tiny little needles will make things better.
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-tuesday-edition-1.3939383/baby-won-t-stop-crying-swedish-study-claims-acupuncture-could-help-1.3939386
Meanwhile in New Brunswick.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3188733/no-room-in-medical-clinic-new-brunswick-doctor-sees-patients-in-parking-lot/
Downward Draft.
http://mashable.com/2017/01/17/beer-yoga-comes-to-australia-of-course/
A conversation starter.
http://exclaim.ca/film/article/pixar_finally_admits_that_all_of_their_movies_are_secretly_connected
Global Warming is NOT cool.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/01/18/global-warming_n_14247500.html
#tbt
http://exclaim.ca/music/article/prozz_k_keep_it_forever_1999_with_new_album_and_tour
Has anyone just tried shining a bright light away from the Whitehouse?
https://www.cnet.com/news/donald-trump-gets-new-species-of-moth-named-after-him/
They must feel so heartbroken.
http://www.aux.tv/2017/01/reznor-corgan-millennials/
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