1. You’re so lucky, you get to just talk for a living.
So do people who work at call centres, drive thru’s, offices.
Wait. Who doesn’t talk for a living?
2. I could’ve totally done my own radio show.
I could have been alright, I could have been here tonight, I could have been sweet as wine, I could have been a lady.
3. How much do you make?
Not enough for the hours I put in, way too much considering I spend most of the time air-drumming and dancing like an idiot.
4. Can I get free tickets to (insert show here)?
YES YOU CAN!! Listen for the cue to call, then be caller 9 at 902-365-ROCK!
5. So are you trying to be like Howard Stern or something?
Am I trying to be one of the most recognized and praised names in radio? Yes, yes I am!
6. I have a great idea for your show…
TELL ME!!! I can use as much help as I can get: firstname.lastname@example.org
7. What’s your backup plan?
8. Why aren’t you doing TV?
LOOK AT MY FACE!
9. Omg I’m SO SORRY!!! I NEVER even listen to the radio!
I never listen to Taylor Swift, she seems to be doing ok.
10. Radio is a dying industry.
You’re a dying industry.
11. Wanna host (insert here) for free? It’s only a few hours.
YES!! No one invites me anywhere. You know I’m not the morning show right? If you can convince my boss to let me take an evening off, I’m there!!
12. Can you mention my business on the air?!
Is your business a pizza place? Will you give me pizza? Is pizzayola really a crime?