PREP FOR MAY 15TH 2017

Namas-ye
http://exclaim.ca/music/article/kanye_west_is_apparently_finding_inspiration_for_his_next_album_on_a_wyoming_mountaintop?utm_source=facebookpage&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=fbpwall
Not worth it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/03/02/morning-people-healthy_n_15109240.html
Say no more!
https://www.thestar.com/news/world/2017/05/12/wanna-lose-weight-eat-more-salt.html
An East Coast conversation starter.
http://www.macleans.ca/news/canada/could-the-walrus-return-to-the-maritimes/
Ronald Drumph wants to know..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3448765/north-korea-nuclear-weapons/
Cause when I think stripper empire, I think Ottawa, Ontario.
http://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/orleans-man-who-wanted-to-start-stripper-empire-found-guilty-in-first-degree-murder-trial
A conversation starter .
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/11/child-picky-eater_n_16559338.html
Cause it’s that simple to chose how much sleep you get..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/sleep-marathons-students-1.4099422
This shouldn’t upset anyone..
https://www.localxpress.ca/national-news/crtc-says-wireless-companies-must-be-able-to-send-emergency-alerts-614704
If we should listen to anyone, it’s the Romans..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3446492/heres-why-you-shouldnt-get-married-in-may/
Bullies are bullies for a reason.
https://www.thestar.com/business/2017/05/12/your-mean-boss-might-be-a-sad-boss-study-shows.html
Meanwhile in Brazil..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3450290/brazil-bus-station-workers-open-doors-and-hearts-to-homeless-dogs/?utm_source=GlobalNews&utm_medium=Facebook
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PREP FOR MAY 12TH 2017

Meanwhile in PEI.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/prince-edward-island/pei-soil-your-undies-1.4073926
I don’t know what this means, but it sounds important.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3443517/legal-pot-next-year-means-leaving-un-treaties-by-july-1-but-the-liberals-wont-say-what-their-plan-is/
2012 must be so disappointed.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/11/air-canada-loyalty-program-aeroplan_n_16558050.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
But think of all the points he got (see above).
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/thunder-bay/air-canada-teen-1.4106886
Forget the alcohol, dogs are trouble.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/dog-friendly-brewery-inglewood-alberta-health-services-1.4108301
It’s nice when you don’t have to go far for work.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3444581/halifax-fire-crew-forced-to-put-out-fire-in-their-own-truck/
Meanwhile in Calgary..
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/canadian-politics/volunteers-raise-nearly-208k-to-repay-nenshis-legal-tab-city-issues-charitable-tax-receipts-to-donors
D’aww.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3445063/couple-married-62-years-dies-holding-hands/
Thanks Science!
http://nypost.com/2017/05/10/science-says-wine-and-cheese-make-you-fit-and-smart/
Just pretend he’s someone else, works for him!
http://variety.com/2017/tv/news/steve-harvey-memo-staff-talk-show-1202423077/
A conversation starter.
http://news.nationalpost.com/health/gluten-free-foods-contain-more-fat-sugar-and-are-not-a-healthy-substitute-to-regular-products-experts-say
Some may even say, it’s working like a dog..
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/06/pet-dogs-are-the-new-must-have-accessory-at-the-smarter-office
International House Of Pain.
http://cnews.canoe.com/CNEWS/World/2017/05/10/22723363.html
95%
http://globalnews.ca/news/3437328/groceries-budget-canada/
Meanwhile in the ‘Centre of the Universe’.
https://www.thestar.com/business/2017/05/07/would-you-co-own-with-a-total-stranger-priced-out-torontonians-turn-to-real-estate-speed-dating.html
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PREP FOR MAY 11TH 2017

When did making food become so hard?
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health/cfia-recalls-breaded-chicken-products-due-to-possible-toxin/article34943138/?cmpid=rss1&click=sf_globe
Well, I know of at least one job that will be on Milkman tonight..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3441653/radio-station-child-pornography-psa/
Minister of National Defence AND Commander in Chief all in one!
http://www.ctvnews.ca/entertainment/rock-nation-dwayne-johnson-considering-run-for-white-house-1.3407153
Well, not like it’s hard to be beat by United, it’s kind of what they do.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/10/canada-airline-customer-satisfaction_n_16535998.html
See above.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/thunder-bay/air-canada-teen-1.4106886
Get off the boat..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/botwood-mom-sunscreen-burn-aerosol-1.4106025
Still not the biggest cry baby in the room though.
http://www.ctvnews.ca/world/australian-senator-breastfeeds-baby-on-floor-of-parliament-1.3406776
Or are they just getting better at hiding?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/japan-ninja-shortage-foreign-tourist-shows-martial-art-nayoga-takatsugu-aoki-a7716011.html
A conversation (and something else 😉 ) starter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/09/massages-improve-relationships_n_16512262.html
Good for you Manitoba!
http://metro.co.uk/2017/05/09/worlds-largest-snake-orgy-kicks-off-as-mating-season-begins-in-manitoba-6625029/
Rules are rules.
http://www.bardown.com/rowdy-senators-fans-have-extraordinarily-polite-celebration-in-the-streets-of-ottawa-1.747442
Who wants to get piss drunk tonight?
http://metro.co.uk/video/dave-drank-urine-five-years-1461607/
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PREP FOR MAY 10TH 2017

How are they going to learn to sneak onto it in the real world?
https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2017/05/09/tdsb-shuts-down-snapchat-netflix-and-instagram-in-schools.html
Well, not like Oilers fans have a reason to smile that often.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3436510/alberta-boy-goes-viral-after-nhl-tweet-during-oilers-game/
Gotta strike while the irons hot.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/05/08/elton-john-searches-for-talent-to-create-videos-for-his-three-most-iconic-tracks-6619513/
#CanadianFirst
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/french-s-ketchup-canada-1.4104656
Literally.
http://www.cbc.ca/sportslongform/entry/the-worlds-fastest-human-is-canadian
Meanwhile in Nova Scotia.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3438863/nova-scotia-court-told-underaged-girls-felt-pressured-to-send-intimate-photos/
They most likely live in their parents basement..
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/what-online-comments-can-reveal-about-the-person-behind-the-persona/article34930289/
The flight was overbooked.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/simon-rabbit-united-airlines-1.4106088
What were the 2000’s like grampie? Say no more..
http://www.avclub.com/article/linkin-park-and-blink-182-create-unholy-union-call-254797
There goes my hero..
https://www.thestar.com/news/world/2017/05/09/146-million-retweets-shy-of-wendys-target-teen-gets-his-free-chicken-nuggets-anyway.html
Meanwhile in Barrie..
http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/police-remove-angry-beaver-that-stopped-traffic-in-barrie-ont-1.3404941
A conversation starter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/03/90-pound-weight-loss_n_16407728.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
Also, makes the gym a lot more fun.
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/saying-fuck-during-exercise-makes-you-stronger-study-says
Eat or be eaten.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scientists-record-deer-gnawing-on-human-remains-for-the-first-time_us_590cf327e4b0d5d9049ca2fc
WHO HAS THE TIME?!
https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/3503982/cloud-eggs-are-taking-the-internet-by-storm-but-would-you-try-them/
WHO HAS THE MONEY?!
http://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/toronto-man-spends-us-80-000-to-clone-his-dead-dog-1.3404092
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PREP FOR MAY 9TH 2017

At least it wasn’t on pizza.
http://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/pineapple-left-at-exhibit-mistaken-for-work-of-art-1.3403390
Cause nothing will help you sleep more than math.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/03/22/sleep-calculator_n_15541462.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
Meanwhile in Alberta..
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/08/ice-shoves-alberta-beach-lac-ste-anne-video_n_16490722.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
🙁
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/montreal-pierrefonds-flood-1.4103807
A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/compassionate-care-legislation-alberta-mother-fired-cancer-1.4094911
I bet there’s a lot of screaming going on there.
http://news.nationalpost.com/life/food-drink/do-the-front-crawl-in-a-swimming-pool-filled-with-sprinkles-at-l-a-s-museum-of-ice-cream
Then play The Wall?
https://consequenceofsound.net/2017/05/flying-pigs-inspired-by-pink-floyds-animals-will-obscure-chicagos-trump-tower-for-one-glorious-day-this-summer/
Snow, if you’re in Toronto.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3434461/canadian-armed-forces-natural-disaster-flood/?utm_source=GlobalHalifax&utm_medium=Facebook
A conversation starter.
http://thechronicleherald.ca/world/1466582-christie-signs-bill-inspired-by-snooki-to-cap-speaker-fees
Tim’s better up their tea game!
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/07/tim-hortons-britain-glasgow_n_16469276.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
I smell a movie plot brewing!
http://globalnews.ca/news/3434298/steven-seagal-banned-from-ukraine-labelled-threat-to-national-security/?utm_source=GlobalHalifax&utm_medium=Facebook
A conversation starter.
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/ontario-man-given-three-tickets-by-the-smoke-police-for-having-a-cigarette-alone-in-his-suv
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PREP FOR MAY 8TH 2017

Be Careful what you complain about.
http://atlantic.ctvnews.ca/grabher-bumper-stickers-being-sold-to-raise-funds-for-n-s-man-s-court-case-1.3401392
This was not necessary.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/05/caffeinated-bagel_n_16431692.html
College or collagen?
https://www.thestar.com/entertainment/music/2017/05/07/nicki-minaj-offers-to-pay-college-tuition-fees-for-fans.html
Meanwhile in Winnipeg..
https://www.localxpress.ca/national-news/take-a-tin-or-leave-toilet-paper-at-community-cupboard-in-winnipeg-608309
“Center of the Universe..”
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/raccoon-pearson-1.4103190
*Insert Bud Lite joke here*
http://globalnews.ca/news/3428854/danish-brewery-creates-beer-made-from-recycled-urine/
A conversation starter.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3429879/do-relationships-between-older-women-and-younger-men-work/?utm_source=GlobalHalifax&utm_medium=Facebook
You can’t argue science!
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/kathy-smart-/maple-syrup-health-benefits_b_15476492.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
Then again..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/prince-edward-island/pei-aunt-jemima-waffles-recall-1.4103015
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PREP FOR MAY 5TH 2017

Meanwhile in California..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3426771/video-shows-delta-employee-threaten-family-with-jail-time-for-not-leaving-flight/?utm_source=GlobalHalifax&utm_medium=Facebook
Meanwhile in Cape Breton/Russia..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/rankin-school-students-security-video-camera-russian-website-1.2762291
Meanwhile in Montreal..
https://ca.news.yahoo.com/montreal-parents-livid-daughter-forced-213117153.html
Meanwhile on the Internet..
http://mashable.com/2017/05/04/queen-meeting-may-the-fourth-jokes/?utm_cid=hp-hh-pri#kBDOza2Zugqx
Now back to Russia.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/05/03/mother-allows-young-son-to-pee-in-a-cup-in-middle-of-restaurant-6613378/
Meanwhile in Ontario..
http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/car-deal-gone-wrong-seller-alleges-woman-tried-to-run-him-over-1.3397145
Meanwhile in New Brunswick..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/supreme-court-gerard-comeau-1.4097320
Meanwhile in Vancouver..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3425054/opioid-crisis-vancouver-pigeon-nest-photo/
Meanwhile on TV..
https://www.yahoo.com/tv/retired-cubs-catcher-catches-fart-face-dancing-stars-071144462.html
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PREP FOR MAY 4TH 2017

It’s that easy..
http://bc.ctvnews.ca/liam-neeson-eats-here-for-free-actor-lured-into-b-c-eatery-by-sign-1.3396757
There goes my heroes..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/sudbury/trans-canada-fry-way-1.4094281
A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/vice-union-collective-agreement-ratified-1.4093498
Have you hugged a scientist lately?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/hiv-aids-cure-animals-first-time-infected-mice-molecular-therapy-a7714791.html
Damn, Skippy..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/skippy-peanut-butter-hormel-1.4095453
Meanwhile in the washroom..
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-tuesday-edition-1.4095463/meet-the-baseball-fan-who-s-been-flushing-his-buddy-s-ashes-down-ballpark-toilets-1.4095469
And you thought your teacher was weird..
http://news.nationalpost.com/toronto/ontario-teacher-guilty-of-misconduct-for-talking-about-her-sex-life-and-putting-her-legs-behind-her-head-in-class
What a shame. It was such a such a lovely place (such a lovely place).
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-music-eagles-hotelcalifornia-idUSKBN17Y1TU
And once again, only a shitty camera was around.
http://nypost.com/2017/05/02/the-loch-ness-monster-isnt-dead-after-all/
Classic OC Transpo.
http://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/egan-oc-transpo-rider-in-wheelchair-says-driver-told-him-to-go-f-yourself
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PREP FOR MAY 3RD 2017

A conversation starter.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3413857/one-daughter-has-cancer-and-one-has-mental-illness-only-one-is-able-to-find-treatment/
Meanwhile at Walmart.
http://nypost.com/2017/05/01/woman-finds-note-from-chinese-prisoner-in-purse-she-bought-at-walmart/
All that effort ruined by a poor song choice for the video. WHERE WERE THE PROCLAIMERS?!
http://www.trendingly.com/pacific-crest-trail
A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/opinion/canadian-consumer-backbone-1.4094486
Should have had it in a car dealership!
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/atlantic-superstore-washroom-baby-free-diapers-pregnant-1.4094300
An awkward conversation starter.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3416802/talking-with-your-kids-about-porn-how-to-do-it-and-what-to-mention/
Still a better commercial than Pepsi’s.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3417454/coca-cola-disputes-mans-claim-he-found-mouse-in-can-because-it-wasnt-decomposed/
Well then.
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/analysis-caillou-is-an-aggressively-bad-show-ruining-the-worlds-children-and-its-all-canadas-fault
WRONG. It was Lady in Red.
http://mashable.com/2017/04/29/prom-songs-by-year/#tanU_hahTaqa
Meanwhile in Calgary..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/calgary-anti-cancer-tea-1.3370691|
Does this mean we’ll be able to cancel winter in the future?
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/04/30/synlight_n_16346100.html
Wouldn’t that mean one of your friends is a hacker?
http://www.13newsnow.com/ext/news/nation-now/article/291/1VTUbIbq1m4UCoWw806kGc
Meanwhile in North Carolina..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3415719/smithfields-restaurant-police/
A conversation starter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/12-year-old-seductive-dress-chess-tournament_us_59053536e4b05c3976800b2e
A not so McHappy ending.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3415620/woman-offers-undercover-officer-for-25-and-some-chicken-mcnuggets/
Meanwhile in Halifax..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/tokens-restaurant-food-waste-1.4092091
Meanwhile in British Columbia.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/sfu-sleep-trick-luc-beaudoin-1.4092294
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PREP FOR MAY 1ST 2017

That’s all it took to get kids into braces?
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/tweens-are-making-braces-out-of-paper-clips-rubber-bands-and-predictably-its-damaging-their-teeth
Sounds to me like he got himself into a sticky situation. http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/richard-vallieres-sentencing-1.4090811
I didn’t read past the headline, that’s all I needed to know.
http://nypost.com/2017/04/28/drinking-coffee-basically-keeps-you-alive/
Sad!
http://globalnews.ca/news/3400248/fake-news-malia-obama-wasnt-kicked-out-of-harvard-she-doesnt-even-go-there/
I don’t even want to look at mine.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/04/27/penis-insecurities_n_16297786.html
So this is why Dad’s been so sad lately..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/dad-s-chocolate-chip-cookies-discontinued-1.4091364?cmp=rss
I lost 6 hours in my first week!
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-39747807
Wouldn’t a dog family tree be covered in pee?
http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/dog-family-tree-reveals-modern-breeds-1.4086360?cmp=rssThat’s my favourite Primus song!
http://mashable.com/2017/04/28/pickle-juice-soda-pop/#a0rXbzz.7mqr
Or better yet, get rid of call centers all together!
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/david-martin/give-me-a-canadian-call-center_b_16260556.html
There goes my hero..
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-thursday-edition-1
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