PREP FOR MAY 19TH 2017

Soo, we can get musicians to space, but not Atlantic Canada?
https://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2017/may/16/gigs-in-space-musicians-metallica-muse-gabriella-cilmi
A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/life/food/7-canadian-snacks-you-can-t-get-in-the-u-s-and-the-backstory-on-why-1.4102299
It’s really awkward when someone opposes the marriage though.
http://www.khou.com/news/nation-now/people-are-marrying-themselves-its-called-sologamy/440427376
Cause looking younger but frowning is much better.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/17/smiling-makes-you-look-old_n_16669478.html
Meanwhile in Newfoundland..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3458731/newfoundland-man-charged-after-taking-pickup-truck-through-car-wash-with-his-dog-in-the-back/
#ow
http://globalnews.ca/news/3460388/b-c-woman-gives-birth-to-14-pound-baby/
Get it together New Brunswick.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/coffee-big-tip-miramichi-1.4121441
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PREP FOR MAY 17TH 2017

A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/could-15-minimum-wage-and-paid-sick-days-eliminate-jobs-yes-say-small-business-stakeholders-1.4115810
There goes my hero..
https://munchies.vice.com/en_us/article/man-pledges-to-make-13-mile-long-pizza-and-break-world-record
Meanwhile in your brain..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/can-t-unsee-western-canadians-find-trump-s-image-in-highway-signs-1.4112884
Meanwhile in New Brunswick
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/who-shot-the-birdton-mailbox-rural-new-brunswicks-great-mystery
A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/hamilton/newfoundland-1.4115872
Is there anything pizza can’t do?
http://globalnews.ca/news/3451518/pizza-labour-inducing/
It’s called fashion, look it up!
http://www.esquire.com/style/mens-fashion/news/a55081/romper-for-men-romphim/
A conversation starter.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3451794/ohio-cop-accidentally-overdoses-on-fentanyl-after-drug-traffic-stop/?utm_source=GlobalEdmonton&utm_medium=Facebook
How am I still alive?
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/caffeine-coroner-1.4116942?cmp=rss
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PREP FOR MAY 16TH 2017

Unfortunately for my sister, this is not true.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3444341/women-choose-romantic-partners-who-look-like-their-brothers-study/
Good for us.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3451627/garden-spicer-viral/
A conversation starter.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/bell-targets-cord-cutters-with-alt-tv-app/article34983509/
Meanwhile in Halifax.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3451592/halifax-woman-unexpected-apology-attempted-beer/
Being afraid to fly is taking on a new meaning.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/air-canada-passenger-bumped-wants-compensation-1.4114718
How dare Jason Segel not pay attention to this..
https://www.thestar.com/entertainment/2017/05/14/man-eating-jason-segels-picture-daily-theres-no-fun-at-all-as-stunt-nears-three-months.html
No, she is not.
http://www.guitarworld.com/blogs/taylor-swift-new-eddie-van-halen/30045
Amen.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3450695/nashville-church-was-actually-a-sex-club/
She was a S8ter Boi. RIP.
http://www.avclub.com/article/world-now-convinced-avril-lavigne-dead-255329?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing
Because age (and the speed limit) is only a number.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3452264/nova-scotia-rcmp-charge-74-year-old-man-with-stunting/?utm_source=GlobalHalifax&utm_medium=Facebook
#TBT
http://www.tmz.com/2017/05/14/american-idol-william-hung-jennifer-hudson-kelly-clarkson-the-voice/
A conversation starter.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4463136/The-exact-exercise-need-lose-weight.html
What does the monarchy do again?
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/15/princess-charlotte-net-wo_n_16622362.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
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PREP FOR MAY 15TH 2017

Namas-ye
http://exclaim.ca/music/article/kanye_west_is_apparently_finding_inspiration_for_his_next_album_on_a_wyoming_mountaintop?utm_source=facebookpage&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=fbpwall
Not worth it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/03/02/morning-people-healthy_n_15109240.html
Say no more!
https://www.thestar.com/news/world/2017/05/12/wanna-lose-weight-eat-more-salt.html
An East Coast conversation starter.
http://www.macleans.ca/news/canada/could-the-walrus-return-to-the-maritimes/
Ronald Drumph wants to know..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3448765/north-korea-nuclear-weapons/
Cause when I think stripper empire, I think Ottawa, Ontario.
http://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/orleans-man-who-wanted-to-start-stripper-empire-found-guilty-in-first-degree-murder-trial
A conversation starter .
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/11/child-picky-eater_n_16559338.html
Cause it’s that simple to chose how much sleep you get..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/sleep-marathons-students-1.4099422
This shouldn’t upset anyone..
https://www.localxpress.ca/national-news/crtc-says-wireless-companies-must-be-able-to-send-emergency-alerts-614704
If we should listen to anyone, it’s the Romans..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3446492/heres-why-you-shouldnt-get-married-in-may/
Bullies are bullies for a reason.
https://www.thestar.com/business/2017/05/12/your-mean-boss-might-be-a-sad-boss-study-shows.html
Meanwhile in Brazil..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3450290/brazil-bus-station-workers-open-doors-and-hearts-to-homeless-dogs/?utm_source=GlobalNews&utm_medium=Facebook
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PREP FOR MAY 12TH 2017

Meanwhile in PEI.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/prince-edward-island/pei-soil-your-undies-1.4073926
I don’t know what this means, but it sounds important.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3443517/legal-pot-next-year-means-leaving-un-treaties-by-july-1-but-the-liberals-wont-say-what-their-plan-is/
2012 must be so disappointed.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/11/air-canada-loyalty-program-aeroplan_n_16558050.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
But think of all the points he got (see above).
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/thunder-bay/air-canada-teen-1.4106886
Forget the alcohol, dogs are trouble.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/dog-friendly-brewery-inglewood-alberta-health-services-1.4108301
It’s nice when you don’t have to go far for work.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3444581/halifax-fire-crew-forced-to-put-out-fire-in-their-own-truck/
Meanwhile in Calgary..
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/canadian-politics/volunteers-raise-nearly-208k-to-repay-nenshis-legal-tab-city-issues-charitable-tax-receipts-to-donors
D’aww.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3445063/couple-married-62-years-dies-holding-hands/
Thanks Science!
http://nypost.com/2017/05/10/science-says-wine-and-cheese-make-you-fit-and-smart/
Just pretend he’s someone else, works for him!
http://variety.com/2017/tv/news/steve-harvey-memo-staff-talk-show-1202423077/
A conversation starter.
http://news.nationalpost.com/health/gluten-free-foods-contain-more-fat-sugar-and-are-not-a-healthy-substitute-to-regular-products-experts-say
Some may even say, it’s working like a dog..
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/06/pet-dogs-are-the-new-must-have-accessory-at-the-smarter-office
International House Of Pain.
http://cnews.canoe.com/CNEWS/World/2017/05/10/22723363.html
95%
http://globalnews.ca/news/3437328/groceries-budget-canada/
Meanwhile in the ‘Centre of the Universe’.
https://www.thestar.com/business/2017/05/07/would-you-co-own-with-a-total-stranger-priced-out-torontonians-turn-to-real-estate-speed-dating.html
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PREP FOR MAY 11TH 2017

When did making food become so hard?
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health/cfia-recalls-breaded-chicken-products-due-to-possible-toxin/article34943138/?cmpid=rss1&click=sf_globe
Well, I know of at least one job that will be on Milkman tonight..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3441653/radio-station-child-pornography-psa/
Minister of National Defence AND Commander in Chief all in one!
http://www.ctvnews.ca/entertainment/rock-nation-dwayne-johnson-considering-run-for-white-house-1.3407153
Well, not like it’s hard to be beat by United, it’s kind of what they do.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/10/canada-airline-customer-satisfaction_n_16535998.html
See above.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/thunder-bay/air-canada-teen-1.4106886
Get off the boat..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/botwood-mom-sunscreen-burn-aerosol-1.4106025
Still not the biggest cry baby in the room though.
http://www.ctvnews.ca/world/australian-senator-breastfeeds-baby-on-floor-of-parliament-1.3406776
Or are they just getting better at hiding?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/japan-ninja-shortage-foreign-tourist-shows-martial-art-nayoga-takatsugu-aoki-a7716011.html
A conversation (and something else 😉 ) starter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/09/massages-improve-relationships_n_16512262.html
Good for you Manitoba!
http://metro.co.uk/2017/05/09/worlds-largest-snake-orgy-kicks-off-as-mating-season-begins-in-manitoba-6625029/
Rules are rules.
http://www.bardown.com/rowdy-senators-fans-have-extraordinarily-polite-celebration-in-the-streets-of-ottawa-1.747442
Who wants to get piss drunk tonight?
http://metro.co.uk/video/dave-drank-urine-five-years-1461607/
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PREP FOR MAY 10TH 2017

How are they going to learn to sneak onto it in the real world?
https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2017/05/09/tdsb-shuts-down-snapchat-netflix-and-instagram-in-schools.html
Well, not like Oilers fans have a reason to smile that often.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3436510/alberta-boy-goes-viral-after-nhl-tweet-during-oilers-game/
Gotta strike while the irons hot.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/05/08/elton-john-searches-for-talent-to-create-videos-for-his-three-most-iconic-tracks-6619513/
#CanadianFirst
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/french-s-ketchup-canada-1.4104656
Literally.
http://www.cbc.ca/sportslongform/entry/the-worlds-fastest-human-is-canadian
Meanwhile in Nova Scotia.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3438863/nova-scotia-court-told-underaged-girls-felt-pressured-to-send-intimate-photos/
They most likely live in their parents basement..
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/what-online-comments-can-reveal-about-the-person-behind-the-persona/article34930289/
The flight was overbooked.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/simon-rabbit-united-airlines-1.4106088
What were the 2000’s like grampie? Say no more..
http://www.avclub.com/article/linkin-park-and-blink-182-create-unholy-union-call-254797
There goes my hero..
https://www.thestar.com/news/world/2017/05/09/146-million-retweets-shy-of-wendys-target-teen-gets-his-free-chicken-nuggets-anyway.html
Meanwhile in Barrie..
http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/police-remove-angry-beaver-that-stopped-traffic-in-barrie-ont-1.3404941
A conversation starter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/03/90-pound-weight-loss_n_16407728.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
Also, makes the gym a lot more fun.
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/saying-fuck-during-exercise-makes-you-stronger-study-says
Eat or be eaten.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scientists-record-deer-gnawing-on-human-remains-for-the-first-time_us_590cf327e4b0d5d9049ca2fc
WHO HAS THE TIME?!
https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/3503982/cloud-eggs-are-taking-the-internet-by-storm-but-would-you-try-them/
WHO HAS THE MONEY?!
http://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/toronto-man-spends-us-80-000-to-clone-his-dead-dog-1.3404092
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PREP FOR MAY 9TH 2017

At least it wasn’t on pizza.
http://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/pineapple-left-at-exhibit-mistaken-for-work-of-art-1.3403390
Cause nothing will help you sleep more than math.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/03/22/sleep-calculator_n_15541462.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
Meanwhile in Alberta..
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/08/ice-shoves-alberta-beach-lac-ste-anne-video_n_16490722.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
🙁
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/montreal-pierrefonds-flood-1.4103807
A conversation starter.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/compassionate-care-legislation-alberta-mother-fired-cancer-1.4094911
I bet there’s a lot of screaming going on there.
http://news.nationalpost.com/life/food-drink/do-the-front-crawl-in-a-swimming-pool-filled-with-sprinkles-at-l-a-s-museum-of-ice-cream
Then play The Wall?
https://consequenceofsound.net/2017/05/flying-pigs-inspired-by-pink-floyds-animals-will-obscure-chicagos-trump-tower-for-one-glorious-day-this-summer/
Snow, if you’re in Toronto.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3434461/canadian-armed-forces-natural-disaster-flood/?utm_source=GlobalHalifax&utm_medium=Facebook
A conversation starter.
http://thechronicleherald.ca/world/1466582-christie-signs-bill-inspired-by-snooki-to-cap-speaker-fees
Tim’s better up their tea game!
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/07/tim-hortons-britain-glasgow_n_16469276.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
I smell a movie plot brewing!
http://globalnews.ca/news/3434298/steven-seagal-banned-from-ukraine-labelled-threat-to-national-security/?utm_source=GlobalHalifax&utm_medium=Facebook
A conversation starter.
http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/ontario-man-given-three-tickets-by-the-smoke-police-for-having-a-cigarette-alone-in-his-suv
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PREP FOR MAY 8TH 2017

Be Careful what you complain about.
http://atlantic.ctvnews.ca/grabher-bumper-stickers-being-sold-to-raise-funds-for-n-s-man-s-court-case-1.3401392
This was not necessary.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2017/05/05/caffeinated-bagel_n_16431692.html
College or collagen?
https://www.thestar.com/entertainment/music/2017/05/07/nicki-minaj-offers-to-pay-college-tuition-fees-for-fans.html
Meanwhile in Winnipeg..
https://www.localxpress.ca/national-news/take-a-tin-or-leave-toilet-paper-at-community-cupboard-in-winnipeg-608309
“Center of the Universe..”
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/raccoon-pearson-1.4103190
*Insert Bud Lite joke here*
http://globalnews.ca/news/3428854/danish-brewery-creates-beer-made-from-recycled-urine/
A conversation starter.
http://globalnews.ca/news/3429879/do-relationships-between-older-women-and-younger-men-work/?utm_source=GlobalHalifax&utm_medium=Facebook
You can’t argue science!
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/kathy-smart-/maple-syrup-health-benefits_b_15476492.html?ncid=fcbklnkcahpmg00000001
Then again..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/prince-edward-island/pei-aunt-jemima-waffles-recall-1.4103015
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PREP FOR MAY 5TH 2017

Meanwhile in California..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3426771/video-shows-delta-employee-threaten-family-with-jail-time-for-not-leaving-flight/?utm_source=GlobalHalifax&utm_medium=Facebook
Meanwhile in Cape Breton/Russia..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/rankin-school-students-security-video-camera-russian-website-1.2762291
Meanwhile in Montreal..
https://ca.news.yahoo.com/montreal-parents-livid-daughter-forced-213117153.html
Meanwhile on the Internet..
http://mashable.com/2017/05/04/queen-meeting-may-the-fourth-jokes/?utm_cid=hp-hh-pri#kBDOza2Zugqx
Now back to Russia.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/05/03/mother-allows-young-son-to-pee-in-a-cup-in-middle-of-restaurant-6613378/
Meanwhile in Ontario..
http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/car-deal-gone-wrong-seller-alleges-woman-tried-to-run-him-over-1.3397145
Meanwhile in New Brunswick..
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/supreme-court-gerard-comeau-1.4097320
Meanwhile in Vancouver..
http://globalnews.ca/news/3425054/opioid-crisis-vancouver-pigeon-nest-photo/
Meanwhile on TV..
https://www.yahoo.com/tv/retired-cubs-catcher-catches-fart-face-dancing-stars-071144462.html
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